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About Me!  

Gaining muscle and losing fat. A little bit more every day.

5'8", ~150lbs, intuitive eater, medical nerd

My general blog is http://nermph.tumblr.com/ sometimes I get confused and post things in the wrong place. It's great.

Shout out to my dad

So, it’s Father’s Day, and I have to say I’m lucky to have the one I do. He saved my life when I was a child.

In grade two I got sick. Like super sick. I was coughing and not breathing and it was terrible. No one knew what was happening. We were in and out of emergency appointments all over the city trying to find an answer.
Finally we got one, despite being fully vaccinated I had contracted a case of whooping cough. Because it went so long untreated I now had a very sever case.
The doctors told me to ALWAYS have my inhaler with me, and child that I was one day I left it in my room when I went to watch cartoons.
While watching I had an attack. If you’ve ever had this you know how hard it is to move when in an attack.
My father was in his office behind me on the phone. His glass French doors were closed and he had his back to me.
I couldn’t call out
I made it to the corner of the couch before I fell.
At that moment my dad turned around and because his doors were glass he saw me fall.
I heard “MARSHALL I NEED TO GO” and the phone slam.
Then I passed out.
Of course my muscles didn’t relax when I lost consciousness.
I wasn’t breathing.
My dad knew an ambulance would be too far away because he was in an apartment. The elevator alone would have taken too long.
In his panic he remembered reading that being in fresh air can open airways so he scooped me up and ran on to the balcony.
What he read was true.
I started breathing.
I woke up.
I was and am okay.

Later on my dad saved me again by finding me the best medical help to bring me back from my psychosis.

He never gave up on me.
Not once.
Not even when he worked on the other side of the world.
Not even when he couldn’t help.
Not even when I was so mentally ill I couldn’t be left alone.
Not even when I made him cry.
He never held any of my psychotic actions to affect how he loved and cared for me.
He might not have always been there physically but he was doing the absolute best he could.
Without the job that tool him around the world he wouldn’t have been able to afford the care I needed.
There’s no question here. There’s no embellishment.
I was classed as a hopeless case. I had doctors give up on me. I had doctors refuse to take me on because I was hopeless.
No one expected me to make it to my 20’s.
Even my parents didn’t think I would pull through.
Even though they were almost certain they’d walk in and find me dead on day they never gave up.
My dad exhausted his full network of people. Anyone he could call that could give him a new direction to try.
Lawyers
Accountants
Golfers
Big wig oil industry dudes.
Anyone.
Everyone.
Anything to save his little girl.
Again.

He did it. I’m 27. I’m a mom. I’m mentally stable.

Thanks Dad. I love you more than I could say. Thank-you for hanging up. Thank-you for turning around at the right time. Thank-you for trying everything you could think of.
Just thank-you for everything.

1 year ago
6 notes

nermph:

I’m at an engagement party for my cousin and a lady just told me I should be doing Ms Something pageants because my legs are amazing

On a related note: beer

Umm my sister agrees
The fuck is going on

1 year ago
1 note

I might bitch and moan about it, but I LOVE being sore. Being reminded all day that my muscles are moving under my skin, cooperating and pushing and moving me around not only makes me feel stronger, it makes me all the more aware that my body is a marvel and deserves respect.

(Source: recoveryourfitness, via obliteratingmyfat)

1 year ago
3,388 notes
fitnessgyro:

No no no no no. 
THIS is why people keep saying “Fitspo is just thinspo with muscles” or whatever along those lines. 
This is making people feel guilty over food or what they want to eat, that working out for “the body you’ve dreamed about for years” is more important. I’m basically reading this as, skip the food you wanted because you won’t get the body you dreamed about. That’s sick. That’s wrong. This is such an unhealthy mindset to go though. 
What’s more important actually is your healthy, and it IS what you eat. You can’t workout or function without food…food gives you what you NEED to LIVE, not just workout. You have to make sure you’re getting ENOUGH to eat! Yes, all this healthy food is good for you, but so much healthy food is  low in calories…it feels like you’re full but at the end of the day, if you track what you eat, 8 out of 10 are going to see they haven’t even reached their BMR, never mind their BMR plus extra calories they need when they workout. I see too many people, even fitblrs,  being afraid of food - thinking  that unhealthiness is going to do them wrong…wait..fitblrs? The people who are supposed to be healthy? Being afraid to eat a certain food, or excluding foods (in my opinion) IS NOT HEALTHY AT ALL. 
You should NEVER feel guilty about eating! EVER. I don’t care if you ate three slices of pizza - that won’t ruin you at all and you can STILL get where you want to be. What happened to moderation? I see thousands of people feeling bad over eating a slice of cake, and then people receiving messages from these people about how bad they feel and these “fitblrs” and go along with it…not saying it was okay. 
Moderation is key. You can literally eat a bowl of ice cream every day and still be able to lose weight or get your “goal body”. It’s all about having your MAIN consumption of food be healthy. 80% healthy food 20% whatever you want. As long as you ate good for the day, a slice of cake, or ice cream, or a chocolate bar IS NOT IN ANYWAY GOING TO RUIN YOU. You ARE NOT going to set yourself back, and ARE NOT going to wake up 5lbs heavier from one “unhealthy” snack or one “unhealthy” meal. You can have a whole day of bad eating and you still will be okay! What IS wrong is going by a day to day basis and eating shit and junk. THAT’s what isn’t okay. First and foremost, you need to get your eating habits under control before you even think about working out.
This message is not healthy. It’s funny cause that’s what the fitblr community is all about right? Oh..guess not, and this photo had three thousand plus notes on it - all from fitblrs claiming to be healthy and positive and all that shit. 
Sorry guys, this makes me so mad. So many fitblrs think they’re so much better than everyone else, but sadly their not, they could easily be seen as thinspo…just doing whatever it takes to be skinny and build muscle. Because just because someone has muscle and whatnot, doesn’t mean their healthy either. 
Just eat goddamnit. 

fitnessgyro:

No no no no no. 

THIS is why people keep saying “Fitspo is just thinspo with muscles” or whatever along those lines. 

This is making people feel guilty over food or what they want to eat, that working out for “the body you’ve dreamed about for years” is more important. I’m basically reading this as, skip the food you wanted because you won’t get the body you dreamed about. That’s sick. That’s wrong. This is such an unhealthy mindset to go though. 

What’s more important actually is your healthy, and it IS what you eat. You can’t workout or function without food…food gives you what you NEED to LIVE, not just workout. You have to make sure you’re getting ENOUGH to eat! Yes, all this healthy food is good for you, but so much healthy food is  low in calories…it feels like you’re full but at the end of the day, if you track what you eat, 8 out of 10 are going to see they haven’t even reached their BMR, never mind their BMR plus extra calories they need when they workout. I see too many people, even fitblrs,  being afraid of food - thinking  that unhealthiness is going to do them wrong…wait..fitblrs? The people who are supposed to be healthy? Being afraid to eat a certain food, or excluding foods (in my opinion) IS NOT HEALTHY AT ALL. 

You should NEVER feel guilty about eating! EVER. I don’t care if you ate three slices of pizza - that won’t ruin you at all and you can STILL get where you want to be. What happened to moderation? I see thousands of people feeling bad over eating a slice of cake, and then people receiving messages from these people about how bad they feel and these “fitblrs” and go along with it…not saying it was okay. 

Moderation is key. You can literally eat a bowl of ice cream every day and still be able to lose weight or get your “goal body”. It’s all about having your MAIN consumption of food be healthy. 80% healthy food 20% whatever you want. As long as you ate good for the day, a slice of cake, or ice cream, or a chocolate bar IS NOT IN ANYWAY GOING TO RUIN YOU. You ARE NOT going to set yourself back, and ARE NOT going to wake up 5lbs heavier from one “unhealthy” snack or one “unhealthy” meal. You can have a whole day of bad eating and you still will be okay! What IS wrong is going by a day to day basis and eating shit and junk. THAT’s what isn’t okay. First and foremost, you need to get your eating habits under control before you even think about working out.

This message is not healthy. It’s funny cause that’s what the fitblr community is all about right? Oh..guess not, and this photo had three thousand plus notes on it - all from fitblrs claiming to be healthy and positive and all that shit. 

Sorry guys, this makes me so mad. So many fitblrs think they’re so much better than everyone else, but sadly their not, they could easily be seen as thinspo…just doing whatever it takes to be skinny and build muscle. Because just because someone has muscle and whatnot, doesn’t mean their healthy either. 

Just eat goddamnit. 

(Source: health-gasm, via obliteratingmyfat)

1 year ago
7,551 notes

twentythreefour:

Big hug today to all my friends with shitty, absent, and/or abusive dads.

(via lacetree)

1 year ago
14,544 notes